Making Time for Making Out
Recently I found myself in the Slanguage break room flipping through the latest issues of the Journal of the International Phonetic Association and US Weekly. While musing on the possibilities of an article examining the linguistic constructions of Brit & K-Fed, I overheard the interns discussing their weekend activities:
"Yeah me and Saraswati* hooked up on Saturday."
"So you guys had sex?"
"No we just fooled around."
"You just made out?"
"No I told you, we hooked up."
The conversation continued in this vein for several minutes until I reminded the young lads that their time would be better served completing the TomKat study I had requested. Yet after they were gone, the questions they raised lingered on. In my day, if I had known the company of a woman, I would clearly tell my associates that we had "made time" and all confusion would be availed. But today ambiguity of the language surrounds sexual activity. To that end I embarked to stake out a clearer understanding of the terms at hand.
To begin my research, I contacted colleagues at UCLA, Johns Hopkins, and the University of Manchester, all of whom I had "made time" within the course of my career. Unfortunately these discussions did not solidify the boundaries I had hoped to shore up. Stymied, I decided to go to the source, approaching several very helpful young ladies at the Sunnydale Mall. I queried them on making out, hooking up, and fooling around. They were reluctant to divulge the precise definitions. A certain nervousness surrounded their answers and manner, which I attributed to a possible fear of reproach from their peers for disclosing and giving clarity to what I believe to be intentionally obscure usages.
Findings in short:
Making out: Kissing with the use of tongues. No other qualifiers are required. Extended periods of closed mouth kissing could possibly be considered making out, but only in rare instances.
Hooking up: The most argued and abstract of the terms. While some may argue hooking up can be limited to making out, general consensus indicates hooking up begins once behavior moves beyond solely tongue kissing. Any petting light or heavy would immediately upgrade making out status to hooking up levels. The danger and flexibility of this term is that it can also be used to extend to the further reaches including intercourse and light water sports.
Fooling around: Another unnecessarily vague term. As far as my research could conclude, fooling around has a higher threshold as relates to its initiation. One would be incorrect to describe an encounter as 'fooling around' unless the actions progressed to at least the level of heavy petting. As with the aforementioned term, the upper boundaries of fooling around are hazy and unclear.
Conclusions:
I argue these terms are kept intentionally muddy for dual paradoxical reasons. For the more aggrandizing participants in the act, use of such vague language allows for an appeal to the upper limits of the term's boundaries. While the participants may have not proceeded beyond first base, the use of the term 'hooked up' and a well-timed wink could give the listener the impression of a greater sexual conquest with no actual fabrications on the part of the speaker. Likewise for the more demure participants, use of the terms can appeal to the lower limits, giving listeners the impression that what transpired was nothing more than light-hearted fun and not octupal daisy-chain felching.
* I have changed the young lady in questions name out of respect.
"Yeah me and Saraswati* hooked up on Saturday."
"So you guys had sex?"
"No we just fooled around."
"You just made out?"
"No I told you, we hooked up."
The conversation continued in this vein for several minutes until I reminded the young lads that their time would be better served completing the TomKat study I had requested. Yet after they were gone, the questions they raised lingered on. In my day, if I had known the company of a woman, I would clearly tell my associates that we had "made time" and all confusion would be availed. But today ambiguity of the language surrounds sexual activity. To that end I embarked to stake out a clearer understanding of the terms at hand.
To begin my research, I contacted colleagues at UCLA, Johns Hopkins, and the University of Manchester, all of whom I had "made time" within the course of my career. Unfortunately these discussions did not solidify the boundaries I had hoped to shore up. Stymied, I decided to go to the source, approaching several very helpful young ladies at the Sunnydale Mall. I queried them on making out, hooking up, and fooling around. They were reluctant to divulge the precise definitions. A certain nervousness surrounded their answers and manner, which I attributed to a possible fear of reproach from their peers for disclosing and giving clarity to what I believe to be intentionally obscure usages.
Findings in short:
Making out: Kissing with the use of tongues. No other qualifiers are required. Extended periods of closed mouth kissing could possibly be considered making out, but only in rare instances.
Hooking up: The most argued and abstract of the terms. While some may argue hooking up can be limited to making out, general consensus indicates hooking up begins once behavior moves beyond solely tongue kissing. Any petting light or heavy would immediately upgrade making out status to hooking up levels. The danger and flexibility of this term is that it can also be used to extend to the further reaches including intercourse and light water sports.
Fooling around: Another unnecessarily vague term. As far as my research could conclude, fooling around has a higher threshold as relates to its initiation. One would be incorrect to describe an encounter as 'fooling around' unless the actions progressed to at least the level of heavy petting. As with the aforementioned term, the upper boundaries of fooling around are hazy and unclear.
Conclusions:
I argue these terms are kept intentionally muddy for dual paradoxical reasons. For the more aggrandizing participants in the act, use of such vague language allows for an appeal to the upper limits of the term's boundaries. While the participants may have not proceeded beyond first base, the use of the term 'hooked up' and a well-timed wink could give the listener the impression of a greater sexual conquest with no actual fabrications on the part of the speaker. Likewise for the more demure participants, use of the terms can appeal to the lower limits, giving listeners the impression that what transpired was nothing more than light-hearted fun and not octupal daisy-chain felching.
* I have changed the young lady in questions name out of respect.
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