A New Word Dawns

We have all been there. Sitting in class while working on our doctoral thesis in psycho-linguistics covering the inhibitory mechanisms inherit in the brains motor-ambulatory devlopment when exposed to trip-hop beats. Whilst about to finish out the complex equation calculating the heat of the beat to the x factor of the groove* your eye catches on a young fillie or fillet across the way. Suddenly all work ceases. Like a well orchestrated trip hop beat bassed into the aural brain nodes, the sight and, in some rare cases, smell of this object renders all other activity impossible and undesireable.

While the situation is not in itself new, it has for too long lacked something. Far be it from us, the good people of Slanguage, LL.P. to steal Rich Little's gig, but frankly this one was too easy. Seriously, one of the interns came up with it in a footnote to a larger study on probabilities on the name of the new Brit-Fed offspring. But like the poor bastard (in the vulgar, not technical sense) child of Britney, from humble origins can come great things. Well actually, this is indirect variance to that situation, in which from ridiculously ostentatious and white-trashy origins nothing but a lifetime of shame and an embarassment of both riches and embarassments will come. Without further ado...

Distractive (di-strak' tiv), adj. distractivating, distractivation. Slang, shortly to be common use. 1. Possessing the qualities of attraction, charm, or good looks in such abundance that it makes those viewing the object in question unable to concentrate or retain focus on anything aside from the object: Alec, I'm sorry I am such a distractive guy, but I can't help my killer bod.

Etym. [Come on seriously, I just slapped together attractive and distracting, I'm not going to write out the etymology of both of those words.]

* (For those interested, the equation thus completed informs us the heat of the beat is in direct relation to the smoove of the groove.)